 As you're finishing off the last of the turkey sandwiches and the kids are looking for things to do, it's time for the Grand Opening of Santa's Workshop.
Every year around Thanksgiving, as I'm cleaning in preparation for guests, I make a pile of gently used and unused items around the house. Things I neglected to return or little trinkets that just never found a place in our home. I also throw in some interesting items from the recycling bin and various art projects that came home from school. And finally, I select some special papers, stickers and ribbon from the craft closet. SOME of the ITEMS IN THE WORKSHOP THIS YEAR: partial packs of post-it notes magnets pieces of a music kit purple cloth bags that new shoes were packed in pecans collected from our yard DIY calendars really cool canisters and jars art work fabric partial deck of animal-themed Go Fish playing cards shoelaces small 3-ring binder and plastic pockets Next, I make the announcement that Santa's Workshop is almost open. I allow a quick peak at the items in the workshop, and then--first, we have to brainstorm a list of people we want to give gifts to this Christmas. Most kids want to give gifts to EVERYone (that guy walking down the street right now!). We review some basic social rules on who it is appropriate to give gifts to, and then we set aside a basket for "EVERYone" gifts. GENERAL CRITERIA FOR APPROPRIATE GIFT-GIVING: family, god-parents people you see almost every day, and you greet by name (teachers, neighbors) people who have made a profound impact on you (church friends, postal worker, librarian) very close friends people who will be giving a gift to YOU! This list may be different in your child's eyes than yours. Try to be flexible! :) There is no wrong person to give a gift to, but you can explain how "our culture" works and how sometimes people feel awkward when they receive a gift they weren't expecting from someone they don't know. That said, random gifts can be the most powerful of all, so be prepared for some random gift recipients on your child's list! With the list in hand, take your child through Santa's Workshop (this can be a simple pile in a closet, or a spread across a large table). The one RULE FOR THE WORKSHOP: You can use ANYTHING in Santa's Workshop for making gifts, but show it to mom or dad first and tell them what you have planned for it. (This way you can guide your child through a hot gluing project or steer them away from a potential disaster. You can also quiz your child to make sure they're making a gift that is appropriate for the person on the list!) PROCESS: Ask your child who's up first on the list. Then interview your child, "What does your teacher like? What does she not like? What kinds of problems does she have during the day at school? What do you think she does for fun?" From this interview, my daughter came up with a special finger cymbal set that her teacher could use to get the class to quiet down. Thoughtful and appropriate! The best gifts are the ones that demonstrate you care about and notice the recipient! Try to back off and let your child create and experiment. Once the gift is ready it should be wrapped and tagged and set aside. Children have a tendency to go back and put more finishing touches on their creations; which can lead to disaster. With a long list ahead of your child, there won't be time for perfection! Focus on completion, as this is a big task! Your child's artwork makes EXCELLENT wrapping paper. We are using cards from the partial deck of playing cards for gift tags! PROJECT MANAGEMENT: Show your child how fun it is to check people off the list as each gift is completed. Help your child budget their time and resources--and get items in the mail on time! Feel free to purchase items needed to complete any gift ideas. Santa's Workshop is a starting point for inspiration! MISSIONS ACCOMPLISHED: You cleared some clutter You gave your kids a positive, creative activity You empowered your kids to participate in giving You taught your kids time and project management skills You taught your kids about empathy, perception and intuition AND--you ensured a good giggle or teary eye on Christmas morning when you realize that your child put their heart and soul into turning a recyclable into a piece of jewelry to match your favorite outfit. Enjoy and Merry Christmas!! 
This weekend I took on one of the biggest projects of my life. For me, it was right up there with child birth. That's right, I put together a swing set. All by myself.
My daughter kept running over to the neighbor's house, just to swing on their rickety old swingset. I finally took the hint and looked around for a swingset for our own yard. I started at Craigslist, but since I have no truck, I opted for buying one online (delivery included). The swingset arrived a day later than expected, which meant my husband would be busy with work for several days. I had made a deal with my daughter, which meant the installation was now up to me. Just follow the directions, right? I realized right away that there were several pages of missing instructions. I hope this blog will help other parents in their most trying hours of swingset installation. The Missing Directions for Flexible Flyer Triple Fun II Metal Swing Set: -We do not offer an Anti-Gravity unit at this time, nor do we encourage your children to be in the circus, so please be sure to install the swings so that they are beneath the Flexible Flyer Triple Fun II Metal Swing Set and not above. If you find that you have installed the swings in error, simply go inside the house, cool down, get a cold drink (preferably one with caffeine), and then start over. Laugh at yourself and be relieved that the second time will be much faster (and that the neighbors weren't watching). -The folks who post Used Swingsets on Craigslist ("bought this 3 months ago for $100; you take it apart and haul away for only $80") are naive and should be assigned their own special class in society. They have never assembled a swingset before. In order to disassemble and reassemble a swingset one would require a 1) photographic memory, 2) copious amounts of notes, 3) a helpful Youtube video to fall back on, 4) a degree in engineering, and 5) the patience of a monk. Do not ever plan on selling a used Flexible Flyer Triple Fun II Metal Swing Set. Just don't. And hope that the clueless woman who posted that ad at least made a sandwich for her husband who did the original install. -We do apologize for neglecting to include the most important tool for the assembly of the Flexible Flyer Triple Fun II Metal Swing Set: Bug Spray [figure A]. Please apply and reapply bug spray from head to toe, and toe to head. Repeat three times. Ants and mosquitoes are especially interested in parents who are focused and holding very still--necessary components to the successful install of the Flexible Flyer Triple Fun II Metal Swing Set. -We outsourced the design of the Super Fun Wave Slide to someone's nephew. He was going through a rough patch (he was expelled from Engineering School for showing up to class repeatedly in ballet slippers and a clown nose) and really needed a job. Fitting the nuts and bolts together on this thing will be the hardest part of the entire install. For this, you may want to try a soothing drink (Chamomile tea (with a shot of whiskey)), as a caffeine high will make you too jittery for this precision handiwork. Cheers to Someone's Nephew, right? -Do everything in the order we suggest. -Even the seesaw. -Oh hell, your kid is an only child, she doesn't really need the seesaw. She'll never know that you totally screwed that one up (literally, the screw is stuck up there--by the bushing bracket [Figure B]). -You are capable. You CAN do things you never thought possible. You can accomplish those tasks which you always intended to outsource (to a man). You can tap into those maternal instincts and harness the power of the Mama Bear to move a Flexible Flyer Triple Fun II Metal Swing Set across the yard to a flatter surface. You CAN. -At some point (around page 4), you will be overcome with appreciation for your parents who installed a swingset for you when you were a kid. You will understand why they were snippy with you when you offered to help or begged to test out the swing before installation was complete. You will recall the swarm of mosquitoes around your dad's arms and legs, the bead of sweat on his forehead, and the look of complete and utter confusion as he read and re-read the instructions. Please hold off on texting him until assembly is complete (you may need to Phone a Friend when you're trying to install the final chin bar on the wrong side of the swingset). -Cover that inch of skin around your ankles. Immediately. -Yes, please include your child in the installation of the Flexible Flyer Triple Fun II Metal Swing Set. Their small fingers are instrumental in screwing in the nuts on the ladder rungs for the Wave Slide. And their young blood may keep the mosquitoes away from you for a minute. -Watching your child swing and hearing your child SING while swinging will make the welts on your ankles and arms totally worth it. -Let your husband know how proud you are of your accomplishment so that if he decides to "fix" any of your work, he'll do it in secret and keep it to himself. -Thank you for your daring purchase! You are an awesome parent! And you deserve a medal (which may be purchased from your local Flexible Flyer Triple Fun II Metal Swing Set retailer).  Nobody wants to talk about dying and leaving their young children behind to pick up the pieces. But guess what! Everybody's doing it. Dying, that is. Eventually. My 5 year old is grieving the loss of her biological father. Some days she just talks about him. And then there are days like today when she just sobs. As a mom this totally sucks. My maternal instincts connect and feel her pain; and then I get hit with the adversarial emotions that often come with an ex. And then the frustration. I like to turn my frustration into solutions. My regrets into hope for others. Now it is our turn. Your turn. My turn. To do something right for our children while we can. Tell them how you feel. Oh yes, this sounds like a good idea. I'll do it this weekend. Or in a few months. It's not like I'm dying anytime soon. No, you'll do it now. Seriously. Right now. Please check your email for a copy of what you just wrote down. Please think ahead about who should hold onto this precious document for you. There is nothing wrong with sending a copy to multiple relatives and trusted friends. Just hit the Refresh button to write a letter to each of your children.
Next: Don't deny it. If you are in poor health and have been given a timeline from doctors, one of the most helpful things you can do is accept it and tell your children yourself. Give your kids as much time as possible to say the things they want to say, to ask the questions, to make the memories. If you're denying you're going to die, you're expecting a lot from the people who will be raising your child. They will have a lot of explaining to do, and they may even be perceived as the enemy or the cause of your passing. Give your kids a chance to process things along with you; allow them to pre-grieve. And that's it. The inheritance, the debt, the lawyers, the paperwork, the logistics... not nearly as important as the psychological well-being of our children. What if my children are adults? Your adult children need this, too. If you have experienced the helpfulness of sagely advice from your Mom or Dad, consider that your adult children will want this, too. If you haven't, you know the hole that your children will feel. Leave a letter for them that they can rely on in tough times. What if I want to show them the letter now? Go for it! Deep, meaningful communication is a beautiful thing! You can absolutely start the conversation TODAY that will build your child's self-esteem, and will show them that you're a REAL person, and will bring you closer and closer to your kids and family. Thank you.  I ask my Kindergartener how her day was. She says, "Blue!" Sometimes she makes a helpful side comment, "I'm not sure why, but BLUE!" or "Awful! I got a yellow!"
The local school district uses a color coding disciplinary system. Excellent behavior is rewarded with a blue mark on the calendar, then green, then yellow, then orange, then GOD FORBID--red. In the first month of school I would hear what her color was, as well as the colors of her classmates. The kid with the perpetual "red" has ditched the school [in favor of a more color blind homeschool setting. Correction: This kid has left the school for unrelated reasons and is not being homeschooled]. Other kids aren't so lucky. I haven't heard of any parents who are excited about this system. It is effective for the kids who love school and are eager to please their teachers. But to what end? What does this system actually teach children? I taught a once-a-week Spanish class to children at a private Christian school in Minnesota over a decade ago. The 1st and 2nd graders could not handle my usual class structure: singing, jumping, playing, learning while having fun. Any bit of "play" and the kids were nearly climbing the walls and shouting uncontrollably. These kids were constantly told, by their usual teachers and the principal, that Jesus didn't want them running in the halls or screaming. They were shamed into compliance; it was horrifying. So what could I do about it? How could I get the kids to settle down and learn some basic Spanish words? And how could I demonstrate to the staff that I had some level of control over the classroom? Self-government. The kids needed to govern themselves. I could not personally restrain or quell the voices of the whole classroom, so they would have to do it themselves. I returned the following week with folders and worksheets--something more familiar to them. Inside each child's folder was a chart to track their progress for the 8-week course. The chart asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" and "What do you want to learn in Spanish class?" The chart gave kids a place to jot down their personal behavioral concerns. The kids filled in the information with a little prodding. Every student had to really think about it. The "well-behaved" kids were terrified of this exercise; the questions revealed their guilty consciences, their fears. Normally these kids could skate through a class by just being "better" than the other kids. NOW, they had to look inward and admit that they had room for improvement. The student at the top of the class was in tears in this exercise as he realized that his biggest fear in the classroom was "asking for help." I didn't expect that! The student who was the Disruption King struggled with the exercise, too, but eventually was able to think through what his concerns were, instead of just repeating the mantra of authorities around him. And then the big reveal: Now, students, at the end of each class, you will give yourself a Smiley face or a Frown face or a Star or whatever means something to you--to indicate how you did in class. WHAT?! WE are going to grade ourselves?! But what if we lie? What if we just write in stars across the chart right now? I reminded them of their goals and what they wanted to be when they grew up. I reminded them that this was for them. Spanish class was to HELP them in their goals and their dreams! I didn't care what their behavior was; but they should! Silence. Revelation. Change. The revolution was immediate. The students were attentive, helpful and excited about learning for the rest of the course. The Spanish class went so well that the school asked me to return to teach an additional Music course. The kids matured in a powerful way. Instead of looking at themselves as shameful people who would never be able to prove their goodness--they saw themselves as people who had the power to make improvements, and be the beneficiaries of the changes. I want this for my daughter, too. Each night now, during Reading Time, she pulls out her calendar and draws a face. The face she draws is generally influenced by the color she was awarded that day at school, but on the weekends we get a more accurate picture. She'll review her day, "Well, I was really mean to you at the park, but then I solved a bunch of problems and had a lot of fun.... I'm going to draw two faces!" Kids are capable of measuring their behavior and improving it. My daughter has also recognized a pattern between her behavior and certain foods she eats. Some foods cause meltdowns, while others bring balance to her day. Wow! Kids are capable of being a part of the solution--they see a perspective that we might be missing. Since recording her behavior she has made healthier choices, even asking, "Hey, can we eat [balancing food] before going to the carnival? So I have a good day there?" Kids have the ability to SHOCK AND INSPIRE us. Especially when we remove ourselves from the role of Judge and Jury, and just play the part of helpful Guide and Observer. LIKE and SHARE this post if you would like to see your school district upgrade to a Self-Government Disciplinary system. Email a link to this post to your child's teacher and principal. This system requires NO additional funds and no additional effort for the teacher. Teachers will even win back some time and energy! Instead of teachers marking the colors, hand the magic wand over to the kids--they deserve to hold the power of their own actions, and the power of fulfilling their futures in their own hands! I developed this game for a DIY Upcycled Gifting workshop. I believe my niece and nephew, children of Amanda, were the beta testers. Suggested Supplies: Recycled/Reused Canisters with magnetic base and lid Old Board Game pieces Adhesive Magnets Colored printing paper Print the templates below (click, right click, save) on the colored printing paper. Cut out the circles. Templates: Assemble:
Adhere magnets to game pieces. Game pieces can either be all one color, or different colors for multiple players. Templates should fit snugly at the base of the canister. The canister is the travel case for the game, as well as the gaming table. To play: Single Play Choose a template. Place template on metallic side of canister. When player sees Letters, Numbers or Shapes outside, while riding in the car, cover the item with a game piece. When all items are covered, HURRAY! You won! Choose a new template, repeat. Multi-Player You may gift each player in the family with their own complete canister. This allows for easier maneuvering of the pieces while riding in a car. Players can set unique rules based on the ages of the players and the route of choice. Examples: The first player to cover their board wins. (One player could be using Letters, while another is playing with Shapes) Cooperative effort: race against the clock or the mile markers to cover as many items together. We want to hear about YOUR DIY Up-cycled gift!  A conversation heard in the Oval Office. "I just don't know what the American people will think." "But we've been working on this for months; we have the perfect formula." "But it can't be us." "Why not? I'm not letting some Republican take credit for this." "It's not about that." "Then what?" "We just can't give the media any more talking points. Not one like this." "Is it the calories? The fruit servings? What am I missing?" "Mrs. Obama, with all due respect, *we* can't be the administration that made schools White Milk only." "Oh dear God. What have we done." "We'll have to cut everything out of chocolate milk, without cutting out the chocolate. I mean, we have to appear to give equal opportunity to all colors of milk. We have to." "Sodium. That's in chocolate milk. We'll cut that." "Fat!" "Yes, fat. And sugar! We'll cut fat and sugar and sodium, and they'll have no choice but to choose the more superior milk." "Words, Michelle, watch your words." "Oh I am horrible at being the First Lady." "No, you've just been given an impossible task: make millions of children eat well, but not so well they'd want to run for office, and then pick up just enough of the tab to keep parents and schools dependent on us. It's impossible." "Something will have to go." "Should we start charging for it?" "No, then there's no reason for kids to eat our meals." "And we lose control." "Right. Something else. It's so obvious, but I just can't see it." "You mean the 'eating well' part? You want to cut that?" "Ahh yes, great idea! That solves our problems!" "But we can't be the administration that made kids fat." "They won't know it was us." "How?" "Formulas. Math. Numbers. Portions. Servings. Calories. Counting. Americans are horrible at that stuff. You haven't actually seen any thin Jenny Craig-ers, have you?! Oh I crack myself up. And we'll put it on the school administrations to figure it out." "Ooh, and we'll punish them if they mess up!" "Yes, and we'll reward them by purchasing through the USDA--they'll package and portion it so they don't have to do any counting." "But won't they connect that back to us?" "Bah! The nutrition labels will always add up; it'll just be on severely processed food. I think we still have 50,000 tons of food reserves from the 40s. We could go through that first, to build up our surplus." "Oh Michelle, you are HOT! This is GENIUS! But what if someone notices?" "Oh now you're the funny one. Who would notice?!" "Parents?" "Are you kidding me!? Have you BEEN to a school in the last 20 years? Remember the Internal Revenue Service?! Teehee. We've got those parents working double shifts just to survive, oh--and to pay for healthcare. OH I LOVE THE IRONY!" "So parents don't check in on their kids? Don't eat lunch with their kids anymore?" "Not a chance. Even if they wanted to, we've got all sorts of hoops for them to jump through now. Most give up." "Well this is pretty incredible, Mrs. First Lady, ma'am. I mean, here we were just going to remove Chocolate Milk and bring awareness and reality to the healthy lunch program, but when we couldn't be THE Administration to make schools White Milk only--you found a way to solve a bunch of other problems." "Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant." September 1, 2104
Dear Witte Museum, My daughter and I visited your museum today and we were particularly struck by the ancient relics of a time long past. Yes, no need to state the obvious, of course I am talking about the "Exercise Exhibit." We spent almost an hour in this exhibit marveling, along with other Average Americans about the concepts of heart rate related to movement. It was truly fascinating that your curators were able to restore so many tools from yesteryear, from an era when people moved freely from Point A to Point B, unfettered by the confines of cars, jetpacks and teleportation. What exactly were those devices with two wheels that really got the perspiration going upon pushing those things with our feet? I don't think anthropologists have seen those since 1987! My daughter was really taken with the floor with flashing lights. I mean, this is no different than the technology she has in her own bedroom, but we would have never dreamed of using it as her grandparents did--to exercise! What a concept! Now, the Pull your Own Weight section was a little politically incorrect, don't you think? Considering the new Anti-Segregation of FAT (Failed Athletic Training) People, we were astonished that such a racey item was available for use by museum-goers. There were many FAT people who simply could not participate, and we did not think this was fair. But kuddos to you for riding the line! It was more of an Art piece than a Museum relic! Good for you! The Heat Sensor screen really played up the Political/Artistic message of the whole piece, actually mirroring one's place on the health spectrum by color--for ALL to see! Wow! That takes guts! I sure hope no one lost their job over that move. We also really enjoyed the attention to detail with the bathrooms. I had to explain to my daughter how people used to be able to fit into one of those tiny stalls, before the FAT laws. That truly was another time, and you captured it beautifully! We do hope you will continue to share these ancient relics that hold so much inspiration for today's world. Thank you! Just went through a 2-part series on the Unity founders, Charles Fillmore and Myrtle Fillmore at the Unity Church of San Antonio. Always great to hear that story! I've been saying those words: I am a child of God and I do not inherit sickness. And WOW. If I don't inherit sickness, maybe I don't inherit poverty. Or depression. Or poor communication. Or frustration in my marriage. And come to think of it, I don't think PMS or fear or lack runs in God's side of the family. I AM a child of God. I am royalty. I am valued. I am worthy. I am loved. Powerful stuff! It's so great to say these mantras aloud. It has brought up many discussions with Franki. Her biological father passed away a month ago from his failing health. As she has relied more and more on me, we have noticed more and more similarities. Instead of, "You're so much like your dad," it has turned to, "You're so much like your mom." But as a child of God, all of the silliness of our human condition fades. We don't have to identify with the ways of our parents, with their sickness, with their premature passing, with their bad luck. We can simply recognize the LOVE that unites us all! Unity teaches a positive approach to life, seeking to accept the good in all people and events. Unity began as a healing ministry and healing has continued to be its main emphasis for over 100 years. It teaches that all people can improve the quality of their lives through thought. I just enrolled my daughter in Kindergarten at Agnes Cotton Elementary School in San Antonio, TX.
First, let me say that it was a great experience--the staff was wonderful. The principal was attentive and kind to every parent. Everyone was Texas-Nice. That was a welcome surprise compared to the charter schools I tried to get into (we are still 150th on a waiting list somewhere!). My residency and immunization forms were not A+ work, but they smiled and helped me out. On one form I had to admit that my daughter was (shhh) white*. Minutes later I regretted sharing that tidbit of information when I chatted with one of the smartest, most charismatic women in the room. She was playfully teasing me about my daughter's name**, which I much prefer to the awkward silence and, "Oh...k" when they try to pronounce it. Turns out the woman is a kindergarten teacher. I hoped my daughter would have the good fortune of being in her classroom. Nope. She's the bilingual teacher and will only be working with the lucky Hispanic children. We chatted about the possibility of immersing my daughter into the Spanish language; she talked about the benefits of knowing more than one language. Of course, we agreed, there are a million reasons to speak, write and read both Spanish and English. And that's when I felt it. The discrimination. One third of the students at my daughter's school will be learning two languages, while my daughter, because of her unfortunate place of birth, will just be learning how to apply extra layers of sunscreen. Knowing only English, she won't have a chance at the extra income and opportunities almost guaranteed to her bilingual peers. My husband and I should have agreed to only speak Spanish in our household since her birth. We could have. We would have if we had known that growing up in a Spanish-speaking home was the only way she would qualify for this free education. I'm not complaining. I believe there are solutions and that we have the power to create and implement them. Solution 1: Make all San Antonio public schools Spanish Immersion schools. Teach kids equally. If necessary, give extra support in English or Spanish according to the needs of the students. Give kids a relevant education! White* kids are waiting in 3 year lines to get into Spanish Immersion schools when the public schools already have the staff, the curriculum and the infrastructure to share this education with all. Solution 2: Stand up for your unique culture. This is TEXAS, right? Be proud of your heritage and your language. Rather than asking the Federal Government for hand-outs because of the large Spanish-speaking population, USE IT. The school administration knows how valuable Spanish is; demand that Standardized Tests be provided in multiple languages, or that bilingual schools be allowed to opt out. Let your test scores reflect the true academic prowess of your bilingual students. Your students are SMART and LUCKY! Stop making the Spanish language an excuse. You can't be a victim over something that white* kids want, pay for and fight for. You can't be a victim over something that gives you an increase in pay. Solution 3: Offer 30 minutes a day of Spanish as a Second Language to interested students. Offer a complementary Spanish class for parents in order to reinforce the concepts and give the English-speaking children a chance to succeed in the lovely City of San Antonio. I will be brushing up on my Spanish, and I will be speaking to you and my child in Spanish. The next time you hear "Si" coming from my mouth, please know that I'm not trying to spell CAT. If Spanish is the only way to get ahead in this town, then count us in. *English-speaking children **Frankincense: ˈfraNGkənˌsens; an aromatic gum resin obtained from an African tree and burned as incense. The Magi (/ˈmædʒaɪ/ [1] or /ˈmeɪdʒaɪ/; Greek: μάγοι, magoi), also referred to as the (Three) Wise Men or (Three) Kings were, in the Gospel of Matthew and Christian tradition, a group of distinguished foreigners who visited Jesus after his birth, bearing gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. They are regular figures in traditional accounts of the nativity celebrations of Christmas and are an important part of Christian tradition. |
Angela's Musings about Public Education, Web Design, Business.
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